Out of the Box
by blindhobos
Summary: 10 percent of the time we're pitted against each other in a battle of life or death. But as for the other 90 percent? We're just toys in a toy box. Series of Oneshots.


_This will be a series of one shots exploring the true nature of the Super Smash Brothers characters, as well as the adventures they have when they think no one is watching. They may or may not be related to one another, though I will try to keep them at least semi consistant._

_Another side note, these stories involve characters from all versions of the Super Smash games._

_Disclaimer: Do. Not. Own._

* * *

In a five foot by three foot box it's a miracle that Mario was still having trouble finding his princess. But given the fact that he was no taller than a couple of inches, and the toy box was crowded almost to the point where it was hard to move, I guess we can give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Peach!" Mario was yelling. Instead of the sweet voice of his princess answering him, Mario only got replies like, "Would you shut up! I'm trying to sleep!" or "Go to bed already, Mario!"

True, it was one in the morning, but what kind of hero would he be if he couldn't bring Peach to safety? Why, the last time something like this had happened, Bowser had nearly...That was it! Bowser!

Luckily for Mario, he knew just where Bowser's favorite spot to roost for the night was. He slept on top of those punching pillows, the ones with the faces. Why Bowser liked to sleep there, Mario hadn't the foggiest.

He arrived to find the treacherous King Koopa fast asleep. It was so typical of the dragon...turtle...thing; sleeping soundly while somewhere out there, Princess Peach was suffering by way of his doing. Mario promptly began bouncing on Bowser's head.

The other toys of the toy box arrived to find Bowser howling for mercy while Mario bounced him to a flattened pulp. Mario was shouting for Peach's whereabouts, Bowser was tearfully declaring he had no idea, and Mario was obviously not believing him.

In the end, the short plumber had to be wrestled off of Bowser's head. He had no intention of letting Bowser get away, though, and just resorted to throwing fire balls at the monster. So they had to strap Mario down. But no one really knew what to do with him then, because he just kept shouting obscenities at Bowser, who was very traumatized by this ordeal.

Dr. Mario gave the solution. "Bring him down to my office, and I'll get to the bottom of this," the doctor offered. Dr. Mario's office was just north of the building blocks. The action figures brought the little Italian there as quickly as they could and then hustled back to their houses to get some sleep.

"Now, what's the problem, Mario?" the doctor asked his struggling counter-part.

"Bowser...err...has...umph...Peach!" Mario managed to say as he wriggled against the ties that were holding him down.

"Mario, I think Bowser's made it very clear that he has no idea where Princess Peach is." Mario stopped all efforts and held still for a long moment.

"If he doesn't have her, who does?"

"She's probably just spending the night at Daisy's," Dr. Mario suggested.

"We don't even have a Daisy toy in this box," Mario pointed out, as he began his struggling again, "Well, if Bowser doesn't have her then I bet Ganondorf does! Or King DeDeDe! Grr! Let me out of here, Doc, so I can go rescue her!"

"It's not going to be that easy, Mario," Dr. Mario sighed, "I'll be fired if I let you go out there and hurt another innocent toy! So you're going to stay here until you're feeling better."

"Come on, Doc!" The doctor massaged his temples sadly.

"Mario, I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this. But you leave me no choice. I have to administer...electric shock therapy. Pikachu! Thunderbolt!"

* * *

By the next morning, something had changed for the better inside Mario. Although a little singed and burned, he was feeling much calmer. When asked if he still wanted to rescue the princess, his response was, "Princess Who?"

So Dr. Mario proudly undid his bindings, paid Pikachu, and let Mario wander home. It took Mario a little longer than usual to actually remember where he lived.

When he finally stumbled up to his front door his doorknob refused to be opened easily. He fumbled with it for a solid minute before he, at long last, managed to wrench the thing opened. And when he did-he walked right inside to find Peach. Kissing Snake. Oh what a world.

* * *

_More to come!_

_-Lexi_


End file.
